ENERGY PROFILE FOR JANUARY :    COMPLAINING

The energy of complaining is contagious, like a yawn or the cold virus. It appears to be a benign energy, a nuisance, but beware, it is a powerful light-deprived energy.

Complaining focuses on what isn't going right, on what we feel is wrong and it positions the complainer to feel helpless and powerless. In other words, it sucks the complainer into the black hole of 'victim'.

When we feel like a victim we tend to 'react' first and think later. We approach with the intent to blame and find fault. If we are dealing with another human being, as soon as we do this, he or she moves into protection mode and hears nothing we are saying. We might as well stop talking but, of course, we usually don't. In fact, because we don't feel heard or seen we usually become more agitated, aggressive or angry.

Complainers tend to live in the past, regurgitating past experiences over and over again in their mind (and body). How can the mind create a solution when it is focused on the energies of the past? When complaining keeps one focused on the problem. And remember that what we put our attention on tends to 'grow'. So ask yourself: Is this something I want more of? If the answer is 'no', then learn how to shift your focus to what you want more of!

To stop complaining isn't easy. Complaining is a symptom of distress on a deeper level within us. The trick is to uncover what the distress is. Following are some causes to consider:

• we complain because we don't feel we have any control in a situation or with a particular person
• we complain because we don't feel important or valued or taken seriously
• we complain because we don't feel heard or seen
• we complain because we don't feel we have worth
  

If you tend to complain, which many times is an inherited energy dynamic, the following suggestions along with the above energy schematic, can assist you in moving out of this unconstructive, life-eating energy:

1.  When you hear yourself complaining, STOP and take a deep breath.

2.  Ask yourself:  Is it worth my precious time and energy to play victim or      am I willing to reclaim my power?  If you answered 'Yes", go to step 3.

3.  First step in reclaiming your power is to shift your focus to where you          have control, healthy control.  Healthy control means control over your      beliefs, thoughts, actions, emotions, perceptions, decisions and so on. 

No one but you chooses what your thoughts are, how you feel, etc.  Ask yourself the following questions:

          a.  how can I choose to see the situation differently?

          b.  how can I choose to feel differently about the situation or person?

          c.  what belief am I invested in feeling or living and am I ready to                       change it if it is causing me distress?

          d.  what actions can I do differently?  (i.e. forget the situation as you                 have no control over other peoples actions or feelings, not take it                 personally, avoid blaming and refocus on solution, learn from the                 situation about others and yourself, stop justifying why you                         should have hurt feelings, etc.)

4.  Be willing to step out of an old habit and change so you can reclaim              your innate power and your peace of mind.

5.  Be willing to live in the present moment and forget the past.

6.  Increase your acceptance of others and yourself.

7.  Extend forgiveness to others and yourself.

8.  Give others and yourself space to be human and make mistakes.

9.  Be willing to step out of creating drama in your life. Life can be exciting      without drama which creates chaos and overwhelm.

10. Be willing to work through the anger that complaining could be hiding.

11. Be willing to be Happy. Complaining robs us of our moments to create       joy and happiness. Happiness is a choice and if it feels uncomfortable to       feel happy, seek guidance to uncover the reasons why.

12. When we complain we tend to overlook our responsibility and                
      accountability for our choices, our decisions, our feelings, our actions           and perceptions. Ponder where your responsibility lies with
      the situation or person you are complaining about.

13.  Take time to understand the beliefs that are supporting your        
        tendency to complain. Once you know the supporting belief        
        structures you can choose to change them. Some
        examples are as follows:

• things never go right for me
• I won't be heard and/or seen if I don't complain
• I want others to know how rough I have it
• I want sympathy, I want someone to care
• when I complain I have something to talk about
• complaining is a way of relating to others
  

The above energy schematic shows your subconscious mind how to begin moving out of the energy pattern of complaining. It shows how to begin building a new habit or way of interacting with life, self and others. It also shows how to change your orientation to life from victim stance to power stance, as well as how to increase your energies of acceptance, forgiveness, healthy control and shifting your focus.  It is a layered energy picture, so that as you download and complete one level of information, you can go to the next level.  There are several levels.    Enjoy.