ENERGY PROFILE FOR FEBRUARY: SELF-LOVE
So how are you treating You? Are you treating yourself the way you would treat a partner, your child, your friends or even a stranger? Sometimes it seems easier to treat others nicer than our self. Why is that? For instance:
• Do you listen to yourself or others first?
• Do you trust your intuition or ignore it?
• Do you show concern for your feelings or minimize and judge them?
• Do you act respectfully toward yourself or do you say unkind things about your looks, dress, actions, etc.?
• Do you make an attempt to understand your behavior or just ridicule it?
• Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself?
• Do you give yourself space to make mistakes or do you expect yourself to be perfect?
• Do you extend forgiveness to yourself or withhold it as a punishment?
• Do you take time to take care of your physical body?
• Do you take time to have fun?
• Do you validate, value, uphold, cherish, admire and claim yourself?
If you are going to achieve any level of success in any area of your life, you must love yourself. It is one of the Foundational Success Codes that I teach with my work because it is so pivotal to personal and professional success.
Some of us were taught that loving our self means being conceited or self-consumed. Actually, when you love yourself, you aren’t either of these.
Self-love is more than an action. If you could see self-love with your physical eyes you would see a dynamic that has a particular form and structure. When you give love to others with your words, thoughts or actions, it is this invisible energy form that they receive—otherwise the words “I love you” and the actions are empty and lifeless. Have you experienced someone saying ‘I love you’ and you didn’t feel it?
Self-love makes us radiate from the inside-out. It makes us feel alive. We all know we need to love ourselves but it isn’t that easy, is it? Why would such a beautiful dynamic be so difficult for us to feel for ourselves?
We learn how to love ourselves from our childhood experiences that actually begin in utero. If our mother was experiencing fear, abuse or uncertainty while pregnant, we may have translated this to mean we weren’t loved. And then if as a child we were given the dynamics of shame, criticalness, ridicule, judgment, non-acceptance, disgust, contempt, neglect, impatience and anger, we could have interpreted them to mean we weren’t lovable or loved.
Parents are not perfect and although most parents love their children many parents do not know how to express love in a healthy way. They misinterpret spoiling, enabling, enmeshment or even punishing to be an expression of love.
Can a child be neglected and spoiled at the same time? Yes. An example of this is in a home of privilege where a child is given everything they could ever want except for the parents attention and time.
Many of us experienced conditional love. If we were good, behaved well, got good grades, maintained a certain weight, played sports, did not back talk or have an opinion that differed from our parents, and so on, we were given praise and love. We quickly learned that if we wanted to feel loved, we could not challenge or question our parents authority or differ from their expectations of us.
If we transitioned into adulthood without knowing or doubting our lovability, we will look to others to prove we are lovable. This positions us to be dependent on them and at their mercy for feeling lovable. We will live in a state of vulnerability and anxiety. Fear of losing a partner’s love will keep us in an abusive or destructive relationship. The thought of leaving can bring up terror, panic, feeling empty, scared, alone and unlovable.
To love someone, we must know how to love our self. This knowledge teaches us how to love others beyond surface actions and words. The above energy encoded schematic, teaches your subconscious mind how to begin the process of turning inward and creating the energy of self-love within You….where no one can take it away.
A quick test to check if you love yourself or just think you do is: Look in a mirror and say to yourself: “I love you (and say your name).” I love your nose, your fat, your freckles, your wrinkles, your out-of-control hair, your funny laugh, etc.
So for Valentine’s Day this year, give yourself the most precious love of your life: your love.
And remember that you are not your past. You can learn to love yourself now.